Talk To Yourself Like Someone You Love, It Matters

Image by Mathilde Langevia

The importance of talking to yourself like someone you love is a self-identity topic worth delving into.

The reason lies in one impactful question -

When you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, what internal words did you use to talk to yourself?

Were they kind words? Encouraging? Confident? Or did your inner critic become your worst enemy?

This year, the journey towards becoming our best selves will involve embracing a slower pace, focusing on the broad scope of our vision board, and getting things right.

Honestly, taking it one step at a time.

Through our experience (primarily fuck ups), attempting a complete overhaul of change all at once often leads to setbacks. Instead, we are adopting a gradual approach to change. Focusing on one element, only then, to continue and progress toward your goals steadily - think building blocks. 

Yes, we are building together.

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Our top wellness challenge: Talk to yourself like someone you love.

What we mean when we say, talk to yourself like someone you love -

In layman's terms, stop calling yourself lazy or a fat piece of shit.

It’s harsh, we know. But, how you talk about yourself and identify with yourself matters.

Self-esteem pertains to the comprehensive subjective assessment an individual makes regarding their intrinsic worth or value. It delves into the intricate realm of one's thoughts, emotions, and perceptions about oneself.

In simpler terms, it reflects the extent to which an individual holds the belief in their competence, capability, and rightful entitlement to happiness and success. 

This is pretty big stuff.

Image by Mathilde Langevia

Go easy on yourself.

Here's an example of our favorite talk to yourself like someone you love quote -

On January 15, 2024, Emmy winner, Niecy Nash-Betts, took home the award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series.

Stay with us.

The actress concluded her speech with, “… and you know who I want to thank? I want to thank me - for believing in me and doing what they said I could not do. And I want to say to myself in front of all you beautiful people, 'Go on girl with your bad self. You did that.” 

Moments after delivering the speech, she offered additional insights into the significance of acknowledging herself while on stage. Niecy states, ”That's why it's not called mama-esteem, them-esteem, us-esteem. It's called self-esteem, ‘cause nobody got to believe it but you.”

Authentic, pure, and damn right powerful.

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Amidst all of life's demands and expectations, there exists a profound internal journey—the exploration of self-identity. It's a quest that often requires a compassionate guide, and that guide starts with none other than the language we use when talking to ourselves.

Self-identity entails an inner dialogue that needs constant nurturing and care, especially during hard times.

Why it Matters to Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love

The Impact of Self-Talk on Well-Being:

We have all been there. The conversations we have with ourselves can be a silent force shaping our mental and emotional landscape, while unconsciously mapping out our future selves.

Harsh self-criticism and negative self-talk can be like heavy clouds overshadowing our self-esteem and overall well-being. 

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*Consider this simple scenario:

This morning, despite possibly having endured extended work hours the night before or having sick children who couldn't sleep, you made a conscious decision to prioritize your well-being by taking the time to walk the dog in the early hours.

It's crucial not to overlook the fact that there's someone – yourself – who recognized the challenges of consistently showing up, especially on emotionally draining days. You demonstrated resilience and commitment by persisting with your daily morning routine despite facing difficulties.

Acknowledge the choice you made to prioritize action over mood and consistently show up for yourself. A big choice we make every day is understanding how to talk to ourselves and show ourselves kindness.

Self-care is self-love.

You fucking did that, now thank yourself. 

Image by Olga Serjantu

Acknowledge that there are likely challenges you're facing, have overcome, or are currently navigating that most individuals in your life may not be aware of. 

Take a moment to give yourself some credit and think - what are a few things you can thank yourself for today? 

A Realistic Approach to Self-Identity:

Building a positive self-identity isn't about creating a flawless facade; it's about embracing the beautifully imperfect reality of who we are.

It's acknowledging our strengths, understanding our weaknesses, and appreciating the uniqueness that sets us apart. It’s about being there for yourself when things are going great and also when you are feeling gutted.

It may (will) sound cliché, but you're already in the most important relationship of your lifetime (don’t make us say it, of course, it’s the relationship with yourself). 

Focus on it.

We're not suggesting that you need to completely love yourself before moving forward, but it's important to ensure you have a strong personal foundation before building and manifesting a new, loving relationship.

Motivate towards activities that promote personal growth, whether it's pursuing your skills, indulging your hobbies, or prioritizing your physical. By investing in yourself confidence and positive energy, attraction will be unveiled to potential partners who resonate with your authenticity and your soul.

The journey towards a positive self-identity is a realistic, down-to-earth exploration of our authentic selves. Per 2011 Kevin Hart, “You gonna learn today”. 

Image by Ioana Ye

A Realistic Approach to Self-Reflection

Take in the moments when it's quiet.

Connect with gratitude through a daily journal, this can be as simple as writing down five things you are grateful for at the moment. You may express gratitude towards yourself for consistently showing up this week.

Research indicates that practicing gratitude can lead to a more optimistic outlook, reduced symptoms of depression, and improved mental health.

Use Kind Words, Positive Self-talk

Be mindful of the words you choose when talking to yourself. Learn how to talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

Replace self-criticism with self-compassion, acknowledging that growth is a process. Positive Affirmation; one of our day’s more important rituals is a researched-backed mindset transformation that can help you to challenge and overcome negative thoughts.

When you consistently repeat positive affirmations and believe in them, you will start to make positive organic changes. The billionaires, empirical research, and evidence acknowledge there is no denying the remarkable benefits.

Image by Marcos Paulo Prado

Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection.

Instead of chasing an idealized version of yourself, celebrate the progress you make.

Small victories contribute significantly to a positive self-identity. Jot it down; keep a notebook of your small accomplishments, so you can see your progress over time. Reward yourself with something small but indulgent, like a fancy coffee or a self-care treat.

Surround Yourself with Positivity 

Cultivate relationships that uplift and support you.

Those you choose to spend the most time with influence your moods, your perspective on the world, and the expectations you set for yourself.

Embracing Your Uniqueness

Your uniqueness is an essential part of this intricate moment we call life.

Embrace your quirks, honor your journey, and use language that uplifts and motivates. Remember, you are an individual with qualities that no one else possesses.

Those differences are not flaws but rather beautiful.

Image by Devin Avery

Establishing a self-fulfilling prophecy that aligns with our authentic selves is important and crucial.

So, again for the people in the back, stop calling yourself lazy or a fat piece of shit.

Instead, start to thank yourself for everything you have accomplished, and we mean everything. Cultivating a positive mindset, improving self-esteem, and fostering personal development will adopt a more compassionate and understanding view of yourself.

Choose each day to create a healthier and more supportive internal dialogue, this will only contribute to a positive self-identity and overall well-being. Always remember that how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.

You got this, we got this.

Thoughts? Comment below!